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Corpse Bride VS. Nightmare Before Xmas celebrity deathmatch [30 Oct 2005|02:27pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | Inncubus Suucubus ]

Well, I saw both of Tim Burton's movies and personally I can't decide which I like better. Both of them have their good qualities and both of them have different themes to the movies. I think though that this should be decided in a celebrity deathmatch in 3 matches. Jack Skelington Vs Vincent in a TLC match, Sally VS Corpse bride in a bra and panties match, and Zero Vs scraps in a cage match. I wonder which characters would make it to the top?? :)

Anyhow a lot of things have happened to me recently that have made me a better person in some ways and slightly bitter in other ways. I am officially saying that this is going to be my last entry on livejournal and that if anyone wishes to find me that they can check out my xanga at www.xanga.com my username is wonderland83. I update it every couple of days and I always look forward to new comments and interesting sites to read if you do have one. If you don't then I would suggest it because I personally have found it a lot more colorful and interesting how the site is laid out. I hope that everyone is doing well and if I don't hear from anyone you know now where you can find me to see what is going on.

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Let's Party!!!!!!!! [24 Jul 2004|02:28pm]
[ mood | drunk ]
[ music | tv and the growl of my stomach ]

Last night was so fun because Mike and I had some people over at the apartment. Although the people didn't come over in the same time frames we still had fun and we still got trashed. I wish that more people came over to witness the madness and mayhem but that's ok. The next gathering Mike and I have everyone hopefully will be there and it will be just as fun as last night. Here are the highlights:
1) Rotten fruit golf in the driveway
2) watched 2 movies (Me myself and Irene, and Spaceballs)
3) had a lot to drink( see drink list underneath)
4) watched Jon and Mike jam on their guitars

Drink list:
a shot of Cuervo straight up
1 Dos Equis
1 8 oz cocktail ( 3/4 of jd and 1/4 coke)
2 double punishment shots (I took them willingly) jewish horseraddish and stoli


I felt the horseraddish in my system for the rest of the night and this morning but I wouldn't change the experience that I had last night. Mike wouldn't take a punishment shot with me but he did try the cocktail and he said that it was too strong for him. I think that in the next couple of months I will help in get a tolerance for the cocktails that I make.

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The day after [20 Jul 2004|07:56pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]
[ music | the drone of the fans and listening to Mike talk ]

Well nothing felt more strange then having a guy sticking a metal rod up there but thank god that it is only just once a year and that is it. I am still a little sore but hey things couldn't be better, I have state tests at the end of this week and the begining of next week. And Mike and I have jobs although mine is part-time until I can get something at the state or find something else full-time. At least I will be brining in something though. I am going back to the bon-ton fine jewerly department pushing the stuff and I actually did miss it. I am happy to be going back there and I am looking forward to the next Levain show at the end of August.
Lyssa came over today and brought Roxy over. I missed that damn dog so much and I just find out that there are dogs that are trained to help people like me when they have seizures. However they cost like a shitload of money and I just would like to say that it probaly would be better off getting a dog and having it be trained to do something like that. It was cool to find out that information though. You learn something new everyday I guess, right?

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Sundays rule and Mondays suck [18 Jul 2004|10:19pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | some TV program and the voices in my head ]

To be or not to be that is the question whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and the arrows of outrageous fortune and by oposting end them. Hamelet said this and it is by far part of the one of the greatest things that William Shakespere has ever written. I admire the man for everything that he has written and also because of the lessons that his plays teach many children when they are in high school and in middle school. I hope that some day everyone has more of an appreciation for his works.
Anyhow, I hate the fact that tomorrow is Monday, not only is it the first day of the week and everything, but I get to have my gyno appointment. All you girls out there know what I am talking about and why I am not looking forward to it. But to all the guys out there, the gynocolegist gets to take a cold metal rod and shove it up a certain place where also a guy can go to get himself off. The doctor is going to scrape around inside me until he gets some tissue and then the appointment is over. It is quite unpleasent for a couple of minutes and to top it all off I get to get bloodwork done tomorrow as well. Double the fun. I wish that the female doctor appointment were more realistic and less lets stick something up there or ask about your history. Shit, is it their business how many times I decide to get intimate with my boyfriend( grrrrrrr)
btw, Michael has a LJ name too now so if anyone wants it e-mail me and I will give it to you.

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me want cookies and booze!!!!! :) [15 Jul 2004|11:23pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | animals out back and the gentle hum of the fans ]

I think that I have officially lost it. I am going off the deep end like I haven't before, I actually am pining over the fact that there is no more beer in the apartment and that I don't know if I really want a choc. chip cookie or not. I guess you could say that this doesn't look good and that if I am sad over beer then there is something wrong. Well, I am bored and I want to do something interesting very daring and could be a lot of fun. I have two ideas, one get a bunch of people together and go paintballing. I have never done that and a little compeition amongst people that you know can't hurt right;) And the second idea is to find a place where I can also get a bunch of people together and go ride some go-carts and do kiddie stuff and act like I am 12 again. I can already feel my IQ dropping just by saying that hehehehehe :) Ok I am off to find something to do

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I have to harness my Spidey Senses:) [11 Jul 2004|12:36am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Mike and I just came back from seeing the movie Spiderman 2. I really enjoyed it and it is the first movie that I have been able to see since I moved. I have forgetten what a nice thing it is to have a night on the town. The whole movie was good and of course everyone knows that they are going to make a 3 movie for the Spiderman Franchaise. This movie was equally as good if not a little bit better then the first one. However, there is one thing that I would like to talk about that is from the movie that also has to do with real life. Revenge, no matter how good it feels doesn't make things better. Instead it just eats up at you inside utill you can't think staight anymore and you end up doing things that you never thought would do if you were sane. In the movie, Dr Octavious or Dr. Ock as he is later called in the movie trys to mess with fusion and instead the mechanical arms that he thought that he controlled malfunctioned and he went bad. People died and some got hurt but in the end Dr. Oct came back as a good guy and helped destroy what almost helped totally annihilate the city. This goes to the real world because I know that there are people today that still think that I am a bad person for the things that I have done wrong in the past. All I have to say is this, I believe that a person can change for the better. If that is not true then why is it that I have a good boyfriend who gives me both love and a good kick in the ass when I need it in order to get things done. Also, if people can't change then how is it that since I have moved out I have quit smoking, given up caffefine, and want to make peace with everyone? I have no ill will towards any of you but I need to know where I stand with you all. So, Keith, Matt, Lori, Andrea, and company the ball is in your court. You know how to get a hold of me and I'll wait for all of your answers.

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Project fixing a window :) [06 Jul 2004|10:15pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Michael and I are having fun fixing a window. This damn thing only has half of a screen on it and the window itself needs to be totally fixed. What Michael and I are doing is putting wood in the window to hold it in its upright and locked position ( anyone fly a plane you know what that refers to :) ) so that the heat can't come in from outside and the little fruitflys and other bugs that we have been swatting at in our sleep can't eat us to death. Hopefully this will take care of this for a temp period and that the landlord will start to work on the windows soon. If we can have working good looking windows before the first winter and before Michael gets any grey hairs that is if I haven't given him any yet. Btw I love you sweetie :) Well I hope that everyone had a nice 4th. We had our good friend Jeff over here for the weekend before he went on his monthlong trip to California. He will be missed and I hope that the Christian Camp that his parents are forcing him to go to isn't too bad; and that he enjoys at least 1 percent of the trip. Hoopefully we can meet his girlfriend sometime soon too. Well the idea worked and the window is fixed but the landlords do need to come and start fixing the damn things soon.

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today is the day we won our freedom! :) [04 Jul 2004|09:04pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

Maybe it is the fact that for the past twenty-four hours I have seen nothing but movies advertised on tv that have something to do with the fact that we won our independence from something. What next we are going to win our freedom from aliens and spacewalkers over the next hundred years? Something to think about.
Then again maybe it is the fact that I am living out in a new place with my boyfriend in the woods and at night in the wee hours of the morning you can hear all the animals in the forest out back. It is really quite peaceful, though a fixer upper I find that it is a really nice place and that I really deal without having AC or a washer and dryer. My new place itself is quite cozy and I do hope that everyone will come and visit sometime in the future. I hope that everyone is well and happy and have a nice 4th everyone. Btw, next time you tell me to check my e-mail Keith please send me something. I was wondering how you and Lori were doing and I wish you guys all the happiness in the world; honestly.

3 comments|post comment

working girl and looking ahead and not behind [03 Apr 2004|08:32pm]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]
[ music | scrappy barking and being weird ]

After months of worrying of whether or not I would get a full-time job I finally have one. I am working for a health-insurance company called First-Health through the temp agency Abel Temps. I have a good chance of becoming a perm employee because I have been inputting mass quantities of work every days and staying for OT when I can. This past week alone I stayed an extra 10 hours. I am going to really like the next check that I get because it is going to be almost $900. It feels good knowing that I have almost everything paid off, that I can start paying my parents back soon, and that I have nothing to tell my parents. They already know that I quit Bon-Ton because I wanted to put in more hours at First-Health and I was draining myself everyday; that I am in a fabulous relationship with Michael who I love very much; and that Michael, Jeff and I are moving in together as soon as michael's and mine respective lease's are up. We don't know where we are moving yet but we know that things are going to work out. I bring home a lot of money every two weeks and everything is going so well for me.
Tomorrow is going to suck because of daylight saving's time tonight. I hate the whole losing an hour of sleep thing. I wish that we were always on this time zone thing that we are in now. I love the fact that my birthday is coming up soon and that I can go out and have a good time with those that have helping me a lot in the past few months. To those people alone I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart; and to those that doubted me and treated me like shit and think that I am always going to be a lost cause and a troubled soul, fuck off and I don't need you anymore because I have people that actually care about me and don't give a shit about what has happened in the past. So to those people and you know who you are adieu and stop being so obsorbed in MY life and what I do, don't you have your own lives to live?

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Falling into my inner demons and desires [20 Feb 2004|05:25pm]
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could just explode??!! I feel this way on a daily basis. There are days when I don't want to care about things anymore but then something hits and then I suddenly decide to care again. It is amazing what a mind can do to you when it wants to play tricks on you and when you actually want to open your eyes and see your mistakes and desires. All I can say to everyone right now is be very happy that you guys have everything going for you right now and that you are not the freak right now. Because if that were the case then god have pity on you because you would feel the sadness and depression that plague me each day and the not knowing what is going to help fix my life is what really baffles me not whether I am going to be able to drive in 6 months or find love. Just whether or not I can be happy with my life is all that is driving me crazy right now and is making me go nuts.
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running out of luck and up against the wall [12 Feb 2004|11:19am]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | george bush saying political shit ]

I have decided that certain areas in my life are too stressful for me to talk about and that I can't talk about them anymore without getting upset. I already know that with the current amount of stress going through me I am surprised that I still want to quit smoking on monday. MOst people would go insane after going through with I am going through with now. Everyone that says that you can go through it well but they don't know how it is and they don't know how things are for me on a daily basis. To have the energy already ripped out of you from the moment that you wake up in the morning all because you dread getting another bill in the mail that you know that you can't pay off. Also when you are stuck in a job that you are not getting what you need from it and the hours suck you would be stressed too. Also knowing the fact that rent is coming up and that you don't know if you are going to be able to pay it or not. But I don't expect people to understand or even be human about it. I just want people to know how it is and to drill it into their heads.

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trapped in the hourglass called life [04 Feb 2004|08:04pm]
It seems like everyone just seems to be on the pity me stage and doubt everything that I can do. And I am sick of it all because I am trying to pull my life together and it is not the easiest thing to do. People know that when awful shit happens to you that you need people around and just there to listen and not to criticize. I am not saying that anyone has done it recently but it is just a generalized statement. I want everyone to know that reads this that I am not some stupid little child that needs to be coddled and hid away from the world. I do have feelings and wishes just like the adverage person. My reasons behind how I life my life are my own and I don't expect people to understand it or to even god forbid to except it. All I ask is that people let me live my life and make my own desicions and mistakes. If I want people to bitch at me about little shit that I will certainly ask for it.
The interview that I had for the finance company wasn't what I had hoped and right now I am stuck waiting by the phone for people to call me and get back to me on certain things. I just am very frusterated right now and I am tired of people dumping on me for shit that I can't handle. Hell I can't even seem to have a conversation with people without someone wanting to start something. Or worse yet jumping down my goddamn throat because they are afriad that I am going to do something wrong to fuck up my life. In case people haven't noticed I can't fuck up my life any worse because it already is in the worse place that I can go to. Hell right now would be considered a 4 star resort and smoking would be the least of my worries. So everyone right now needs to stop playing the pity game and the vindictave bullsiht( you know who you people are) and just be human for once.
6 comments|post comment

it's a free world baby [21 Jan 2004|05:08pm]
I heard this from a song that a heard a while back in 96' on the tv show the Friends soundtrack. For some reason it is sticking in my head now and it felt like and an appropriate thing to title this entry with.
For all the people out there that continue to be silent please speak up to someone and let yourself be heard. The most important thing that I have learned out of my life so for is to not be silent and to stand up for what I believe in; whatever that is. I care so much about my life then I did a couple of months ago. There were even times when I didn't even think that I deserved to live. But know that I have come out of dark times in my life I can smile, laugh and just be happy with my life again and be thankful that I actually have one for once.
As far as job stuff right now I have a lot of paperwork to put on the internet to get my life back and hopefully something good will come out of all of this preparation. I am starting to think that there is more to life then just retail. Even though I like working where I work right now it doesn't pay the bills and I know that I can do better. I just want to better my life and be happy again in that aspect of my life and not have to worry like I do all of the time.
My family to my knowledge is doing okay. My youngest sister claims that she dumped a boy that she was seeing. I didn't even know that she was even dating someone. The little hoe:)
And my other sister just went back to college. I think that she is feeling okay but sometimes I can tell that she is hiding what she is feeling to me. Living with a life-threatning disease must really mess with her head and all I can say is that I am there for you Lys. Be strong and stay together.
To my friends who have been there for me in the past couple of weeks thanks and I love you all. It means so much to me that I can actually talk to you guys again and hang out with you all at the apartment.
And Ghostchild, I just wanted to say thanks for always being my knight in shining armour and loving me even when I didn't deserve it. I love you too.
3 comments|post comment

the comeback [12 Jan 2004|08:16pm]
[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | hum of the computer ]

hi guys it's wonderland. Sorry for the long ass departure from letting you guys know what is going on but I think that it is time that my thoughts come back out into the open to share with everyone. I am tired for one of putting on a face of bravery when I am terrifed out of my mind of the unknown and that I am personally trying to deal with something that will more then likely take years to get over. I am trying to get over flushing my life and happiness down the toliet of the real world. Welcome to adulthood Becca and enjoy the view as you personally destroy it!
Nobody will ever really understand what it is like to sometimes want to scream and yell but no words will come out of your mouth. For the longest time I was robbed of the ability to ask for help or even speak to those that I loved and held dear to me because i was afraid. And why you might ask??? I was afraid for my life and my sanity because my very own humanity and self-respect was taken from me by someone that I thought really cared about me. He took away everything that I held dear but most importantly he took away my ability to look at myself in the mirror in the morning and smile. With the constant rape and verbal and emotional abuse it will leave scars on me that will not go away for a very very long time. Not even going to consuling right now can even start to take the pain away that I am dealing with on a daily basis. You do not just imaging bruises and bite marks appearing out of no where when you are busting your ass working two jobs trying to get ends meat and it still isn't enough?? When is this going to stop,when someone pays the price? Money won't solve anything although it would make things a lot easier for me, as of right now I am $10,200 in debt and the money is still adding up. For those people out there that think I am a liar and a total nutcase maybe I am one but at least I know when to admit that I did something wrong and know what to do to turn my life around for the better so that it never happens again.

12 comments|post comment

sorry [12 May 2003|11:47pm]
Sorry everyone, I know that I took a hiatus from writing in here but I really didn't have anything to say for the longest time. I didn't want to post entries that had fifty thousand ums and like in them... that would definitly bring out the blondness in me. Btw, I am fine and there is nothing wrong with me. I just need to get out of my house and I will be fine. When that time comes I am going to be so happy and party like a rockstar with all of my friends. Keith comes home in 5 days!!! Lori is so excited about him coming home. In fact all we did was talk about him tonight and how she thinks that he is the one that she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Keith, I think that you and Lori are going to hit it off just fine. Trust me, I think that you will like that present that she got you. It is something very cute and I have already seen it so I know that it is something that you can appreciate and like. I am happy right now but I am also contemplating what I want out of my life. I seem to be in this pace where I am doing the same thing day in and day out and I want something better for myself. I have been thinking about taking some insurance classes down the road so that I can get a better job through Nationwide. I really do love my job and if I talk about it too much everyone then I am sorry. Keith, I did send Lori a LJ code so I will leave it up to you to get her to set it up. I know that we all have stuff to talk about but I think that she will do it if you help her hook it up. Anyhow, the bad news for the entry.... my mom is sick and we don't know why. She had some fluid around her incition where they did the knee replacement thing and all but that doesn't explain why she has been having the fever for the past 48 hours. Lys is in the hospital for a while and we don't know how long she is going to be in there. So if anyone wants to see her or talk to her I can give out contact info. She is at hershey hospital on floor 7 peds. Well I think that is all for right now. I will write something soon. HOpefully I should be getting my car soon because my birthday is in t minus 14 days.
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the armageddon [24 Apr 2003|06:24am]
Alright, now it is the armageddon. My mom is going in today for her knee surgery and she has already told me that I could use her car during the week/ next week for work until she comes home. Is this a new person coming into it or just someone completly different?

I got a shitload of new clothes last night from my parents for no apparent reason. Granted that this is just clothes but when my mom when on a rampage last month about me needing to buy my own stuff, this just doesn't make sense. I need coffee and I am glad that this weekend is going to rain for two reasons. One, it will take out the bitter taste in my mouth that I have for hockey and just completly relax me, and two there is nothing more sweet then cuddling up with the person you love and watching a movie. I love you sweetie and I now that they are going to call you next week! Good luck!!

Well I must get dressed and brush my teeth. I have wicked kick ass morning breath that would probaly knock someone out. By the way, Keith, Lori is really looking forward to meeting you and hopes that you are looking forward to meeting her as well. You can e-mail me soon you know. I won't bite your head off, I am actually very pleasent now.

Ok, time for morning routine!!
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ggggrrrrrr, hiss and boo (makes evil face and sticks out toungue) [22 Apr 2003|06:47am]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | kingdom hearts soundtrack ]

Even though my stomach feels better it still hurts a lot and I know that it will take a while for it to heal. I think that Keith should be our therpaist when he comes home because I would actually like to hear what he has to say. Also, if this was not a serious issue then I would not be acting for stubborn about it. However, because of the long-standing abuse that I got from my ex in high school, I am now very wary of stuff like that. And saturday brought back all of those feelings that I tried so hard to forget even though the circumstances of how I got hit are irrelevant. I would like to think that we can accomplish anything together and handle anything. But Jon, you just pulled a 180 on me and I don't know how to handle it. All I can say is that it will be a while before things go back to the way that they were.

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And the purple heart goes to.... Becca for surviving hockey!! [20 Apr 2003|10:17pm]
I never knew that playing hockey could be so physical and draining at the same time when you are playing goalie. But after getting hit 3 times in different areas that do not have any padding I was about to seriously go ape-shit on someone if they didn't stop hitting on me. I got hit twice by Harlan and one by Jon. However if I am still bleeding from Jon's shot tomorrow then I have to go to the ER to get checked out just to make sure that I am ok. I took three powerful shots on saturday, one to the pelvis, one to the collorbone, and one to the inside of my thigh. You can start to see the bruises from the collorbone shot and the pelvis shot, and believe me they hurt like a bitch and they aren't pretty. Lori liked playing hockey with us and she picked it up really fast. She even is looking forward to next time we play because she wants to get a good workout like she did yesterday.

My parental units and brooke went to NYC this weekend to see the producers and just chill. They came back this afternoon and apparently they had a good time. My mom is afriad a little bit as to what to aspect with the surgery on thursday but overall I think that things should be ok. Well gotta go to sleep just thought that I would post in here since I haven't done so in a hell of a long time.
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day 2 passover.... the final rose! [17 Apr 2003|06:25am]
Goddamn it! I am sick and tired of all these reality T.V shows. What have we come to if there is a new bacholor/bacholorette every six months; new tween wannabee shows, and let's see if I can win a million dollors before either dying of something or getting sick on survivor. The funniest thing is that my mom makes such a big deal about the bacholor that it is really dumb. I have no interest in watching reality T.V shows and problay never will. Every week my mom and my two sisters sit downstairs and watch that stupid show and you know what? They are problay going to get either brainwashed or instantly dumber from the experience. That's why I won't go see the sequel for Dumb and Dumber which comes out this summer. I mean Jim Carrey playing god was really funny but is he deliberatly trying to ruin his carrer by being in a sequel to a movie that didn't make even 33 mil at the box office?

Anyhow, enough bitching about the entertainment biz. Passover is here and I for one think that it is the most over-rated holiday that the jewish religion has. People shouldn't feel like they have to celebrate two nights and do the whole keeping passover thing if they don't want to. I wish that we only could pick and choose which jewish holidays that we could celebrate and that people didn't have to pay money to sit and pray in temple. My still woke me up again in the middle of the night last night. This time it was three in the morning. I think that either he doesn't know that he is waking me up or that he is deliberatly doing it to piss me off somehow.

Lori will be playing with us at Harlan's place on Saturday. I gave her the directions off of the e-mail that Andrea sent me and hopefully everything goes well for her up in Ohio while she is there. Well I am going to take some more D-Quil and drink a shitload of coffee because I need it this morning and damn I am so fucking tired. GRRRRRRR
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ugh passover is this week and I hate matzah! [14 Apr 2003|06:13am]
I wish that this holiday was never a biggie for the jewish religion but in it's own way it is. If anyone in their warped mind goes to the Jewish Giant on Linglestown they will see a whole entire rack dedicated to passover junk. I love Doc Brown's Black Cherry Soda but that is about it. Everything else that those crazies that come up with more tastless foods for passover each year suck. If food has no flavor then I won't eat it this is quite simple really.
This past weekend was not as good as I would have liked because right my ghetto allergies are kicking in and I have a cold. Not a cold/flu but something weird enough to be taking day-quil or ny-quil everyday. Damn, that stuff still doesn't knock me out and I wonder why. But everyone knows why we like Ny-quil? IT IS BECAUSE OF THE BIG FUCKING Q! Sorry, rage hostility for a moment, being on the rag will do that to a sane woman. I saw a great movie on friday before I got sick, I saw Anger Management which was really really funny. And jon if I get you sick then I am really really sorry because I did not want to get you sick. I know that someone from HR will call you either this week or next week so don't fret about it. Just relax and think about what we are going to do this coming weekend. Lyssa is planning a party as usual and I don't want to be there when this happens because if she gets busted by mom and dad I don't want any part of it. Isn't good that I am avoiding a potentialy bad situation before things get worse?
Then saturday and sunday were chill days for me except for the 4.5 hours of OT that I put in on saturday. I must be losing my mind to do something like that. Oh, well the coffee ust be losing it's grip again. Gotta run and get some grub before work.
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